Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Yellow - I like yellow. . .

I had an epiphany today.  No one really knows what they want to be when they grow up.  Everyone is in and out of reality.  We teeter on the edge of the non-existence of what we assume to be true.  I know that statement sounds confusing, but really - we are all walking this tightrope and on one side if/when we fall there is one thing, and the other side holds something entirely different.  Many times I have struggled with the feelings of "I have to decide now what I want" - - Guess what...I don't need to know what is to come.  I don't have to decide anything today or tomorrow either actually.  How about - - I just live.  I wonder how many other people think about all the crap like I do all day/night..My mind seems to run in circles and in overtime a lot, and this causes me to second guess and make strange assumptions.  Well, I'm glad I thought about all this today, but I think way too much.  A very sweet friend of mine pointed out the assumption thing, and I want him to know that I was listening, and this is definitely not my first rodeo with this subject.

Also, I will do what I want to do in the end.  I do not like being told what I can and can't do.  If I want to, I will do it.  And actually telling me not to do something sometimes pushes me in the complete opposite direction.  Mind you, I'm trying to be mindful of my decisions and not hurt anyone along the way.  I'm sure I'm guilty of telling people what they should or shouldn't do, but that's certainly not my place, so if I have done this to you, I sincerely apologize.  I once had a kid that worked for me that i told he was too young to have kids, seriously that is still my opinion, but who am I to tell him that.  I did tell him, and of course, he didn't listen, so why did I even offer up that opinion.  People inherently think they need to help others out along their course, but that does not work really.  Live and learn.

So on a much lighter note - I left work at 4:45 and was in Greenwood at 5:15...woot..I am not going to know what to do with all this extra evening time.  Love that..And now I'm doing this so I can go to dinner with a very good man and my bro (he's a good man too) and his fabulous wife..might even see the most beautiful two year old girl tonight..and to think in a month..I'll be able to do this a lot - That is exciting for us!

I know I told you all this last night - but it does mean a lot to me to have you all in my life, even if it's only this way.  Love you all.

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