Tuesday, October 16, 2012

My decisions. . .

I'm a huge believer in you make your day and your happiness.

So I'm gonna run down the last few days for you.

Friday - I was let go. . . I had a lock-in to contend with at LBBT which I was in charge of, and I was quite sure that a sleepover of a bunch of kids were not what I was in the mood for.  Well thanks to a Landlord and some screaming kids, it didn't go off as planned anyhow.

Saturday - What a boring day.  Gary tried hard to "fix" things, by taking me to Cheese Cake Factory and I had tyler with me until afternoon, but it was a hard day.  David did text me and in one of them he said he loved me without knowing about my Friday at all.  Zach was a big cuddle bug which was nice, but I felt like something HUGE was missing.

Sunday - Went to my brother's house, and while I tried hard to enjoy myself and Lucy, I still felt like I was off.  I found my mind wandering to the "what now's" a lot, but Gary made sure to let me know that evening that no matter what, we're good.

Monday - Well yesterday was a little better, besides figuring out that my replacement had already been hired and knew someone I thought I was close with.  I felt betrayed a lot, but as I stated last night when mom stopped by to try to make it "better"..None of that matters now anyway.  Everything is. . .It just IS..so I have to decide what I want now.

Tuesday - I woke up refreshed and laid in bed until nearly 10am.  I wrote a list of things to do, and have been knocking them out.  My bathroom is clean like it hasn't been in years, and now I'm gonna start on the kitchen.  I have homework to do and a job to look for.  I'm kinda excited today..I am almost feeling relieved and am happy that Gary gets that I need alone time sometimes.  I still am going to really miss miss miss some wonderful people, but I'm good.  I'm really good.  And I'm wonderful, let's not forget that.
I decided today that I don't want to be down or upset or numb or whatever, I want to be Me ... the me that I am really comfy with...the one that is confident and knows that idiots exist and sometimes they're even in charge these days, but all I can do is shrug my shoulders and say.."whatever"...

Love the day!

1 comment:

Manatow said...

There is always more than one reality. And most people think their perception of reality is the "True Reality."

You cannot be a truely wise and HAPPY person until it is clear to you, as a person, that your own personal thoughts of reality are not necessarily the true reality.