Thursday, November 15, 2012

Nothing Profound . . .

Okay so, I'm a week away from a Bachelor's degree.  I guess this should make me happy, but I've been pouring out most of my hope and happiness on possibilities lately.

I feel like the job search is a bit frustrating at times.  One moment I'm happy and excited about the possibility of a potential lead and then next I'm sweating that an interview didn't' go exactly well.  I do have some awesome people in my corner, so maybe soon.

Alright so. . . Still liking my Lenovo and Windows 8.  Not loving Windows 8 yet, but I do like it.  I should have bought a few of the Nexus 4's so that I could sell them on ebay.  I did get two Wii U's, but I'm not selling the extra one to a friend, so don't ask.  I want to sell it on ebay.  They're going for like 750 bucks right now..That'll pay for mine, too.  I wish I could've gotten a few more of them.  I've been having fun with selling things on ebay lately.  It's interesting to see what sells and for how much.

My ex-husband's grandma (the kids great-grandma) is pretty sick.  She's 95 or something like that and has lived a full and happy life, but she's still sick and dying.  I think something weird happened to me the other night..Dumb and and Zach are obviously sad about this, and I totally get that, but I felt frustrated a little, because neither of them seemed that sad when it was my grandparent's dying and they were younger and it was more tragic.  I was feeling like, "what the heck" and then I had a thought - -- And YES i had this thought (no one helped me with it) - I have no idea how sad anyone else might have been when it was my grandparents...quite honestly I didn't care...I was devastated and that is all that mattered at the time. . .
I also had another realization that evening, which didn't bode well for my Neo and I...I am okay with my feelings and sometimes it's okay for me to tell you how I feel..and not to have you tell me how to solve it..or that I shouldn't feel a certain way...I WILL feel...I DO feel...and whether I should or should not doesn't matter because what ever it is at the moment...I WILL feel it..It only matters how I handle those feelings and what I do with them.. So many times, I'll say "Man, I really feel. . . . " whatever, and I get the response "Well you shouldn't feel that way..."  Okay doesn't matter...I do FEEL this way, and I know that I can make myself have different emotions, but I feel how I feel because I do..if that makes any sense..


Who first came up with curse words? and what makes them curse?

Why is it that I hate feet so much?  I feel like somehow they are gross body parts, how do I get past that?  Without anyone touching me with feet..

Sometime soon, I want to get REALLY REALLY drunk..and say curse words..

okay that's about it tonight..I know I kept you waiting and this is probably a total let down...sorry..

Love you all.

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