Friday, February 24, 2012
What is important. . .
Saturday one of my boys gets married.
Sunday my girl turns 18.
I first met David when he was 5, and Jennifer when she was 2. Until I met those two, I didn't even want kids. I thought all kids were extremely annoying. Of course, I was 18. Back then I would have to ask Dave to translate for me when Jenn would speak, because she talked like a chipmunk. I remember teaching Dave to write his name for Kindergarten by making letters into bugs. He was completely against it, until he saw the D bug. When he learned to do it, he was so proud of himself. He always has the sweetest smile and bright eyes.
I guess for a long time I didn't realize what I was to Jenn. 5 years old is young, but to me I hadn't realized that I'd been her "Mommy" for more than 1/2 of her life, she asked me one day driving down the road, when I was pregnant with Zach, "Mommy, was it like that when I was in your tummy?" Tears filled my eyes and I cried, not a small cry, because I realized at that moment, what I really meant to Jennifer. I guess that was life altering for me.
David has had it a bit rougher then Jennifer, and I know it. His dad was never all that nice to him. I think his resentment towards David was about his age when David was born; he still wanted to be a teenager. It was also harder for me to love David (don't take that wrong, because I love him more than life), but I stand by the fact that he made it harder. He didn't love me like his sister did. He had bonded with his biological mommy and he wanted to be with her. I didn't blame him for that, but there were times when he'd get mad at me and specifically say things like, "Well, my other mom will do it for me then." He also always craved the love of his father, and when I left their father, David was going into high school. He didn't want his dad to be mad at him, so he pulled away from me. It was more like he chose the side of not hurting his dad, so that he could get closer to him. This worked until his dad found someone else to gain attention from, which didn't take long.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I didn't believe in love at first sight, until I met those two. Instantly, I loved them, and I had a feeling that I would love them forever. So, I married their dad. (I know, not the right reasons) Over the years, I grew to love them, more and more and their dad, less and less. I missed them so much when they weren't around that I would fold clothes and cry, and then I decided I needed to have a child that ironically I would never have to share. I have always had a bond with David and Jennifer that other people don't understand, and that is fine. That really doesn't matter to me; it has to them at times. Both of them have not wanted to hurt others in their lives by it, but both of them know that I will ALWAYS be there for them no matter what. I love you David and Jennifer Shoop. Millions and Millions.
On a lighter note:
Okay so a colleague brought to my attention that Lugar pays taxes in Indiana on a family owned farm that has no house on it for him to stay in.
Fine! But. . . he's not a resident of Indiana and who would want someone to be our Senator that is trying to jump through Constitutional loop holes. Really? Seems strange to me that any conservative state (INDIANA) would be okay with this. How can we elect someone when we KNOW that they are immoral and trying to get around a law to get elected? If they will do that, what else would they do. In my opinion this is worse than refusing to pay taxes or something like that. Definitely worse then President Clinton having an affair in front of the nation. Which we all cared way too much about.