Living without my child for a period of time, is never a good feeling. I know that over the years, I have grown more accustom to him being at his dads. I know his dad does take care of him. I know that his dad loves him, too. I am happy that they seem to get along better as time goes on. I am happy that going to his dad's bothers him less and less.
Usually, I don't cry anymore. Usually, I have a little bit of a feeling of relief (I know, bad momma), but it's nice to have a break from time to time. Then there are those moments, when I feel so overwhelmed by the emotion that I get no Zach hugs for three weeks.
The summer is tough. There are longer stretches, and being apart is hard for me. I want openness where I can talk to him and hug him whenever. I do get that he's growing and soon enough he'll getting a job and then be moving away to college, and I'll feel the empty nest all the time. I just love him bunches, and I don't like the loneliness feeling I have without him around. I know he misses me, too, but he's a boy and he's pretty okay with anything. He's a really good boy.
I have cried so many times over my kids. It's such a weird thing. They make me the happiest and the saddest of all people in my life. If I had this extremes with anyone else, I'd leave them. ;)
I love my babies, and even if they aren't babies anymore. I love all three of them with my whole heart. I wish and hope they know this. Each child is so completely different, and yet I wouldn't trade any of them for the entire world.