Wednesday, April 11, 2012

My beautiful car and today's feelings....

Okay so my car is not just any Altima - He's a 3.5 liter V6 and honestly, look around, they're hard to come by.  I love him so much.  So this is gonna sound weird, but I've felt a bit depressed lately, but driving my car makes me feel a little better.

Yeah, you didn't think this blog was totally gonna be about my car did you?

So, I got on a soapbox yesterday, and I'm a little sorry for that.  Not totally because I think everyone needs to hear it.  It has been a long time, since I've had a sinus cold, but definitely lately there is a cold a brewin'.

I know that feeling all of the sadness to the fullest is what makes me who I am.  It shapes a person into what we are to feel our feelings and grow from them.  It is okay that I'm sad.  It's okay that you're sad for me.  This is what makes us who we are.  Everyday feels a little bit better, and every day makes me think I have things figured out just a fraction more than the day before.  We will never be complete; we're always growing and changing.  For now, I need to just be happy in the skin I have.  Usually this is not a problem for me, but sometimes I waiver and feel confused.  This doesn't mean that today, I'm just forgetting how I felt yesterday, it just means that I've been upset with myself for feeling something that I should NOT be upset about.  I love and I care about people, and I recently lost one of the people that I loved more than most.  It's okay to mourn this for a long time, but I need to feel it and let it go.  I can't change what happened, and I can't make anyone else's hurt go away either.  I can only love.  "I love me, too"

Gary - I love you more than I can even tell you.  I know that we're human and we make mistakes, but know that I have never and will never love another man like I love you.  Thank you for being there for me through the crazy times (I know...I know...I'm all crazy, but I'm crazy about you too).

Now on to something else. . . .
I'm not sure if I have allergies or a cold, but I started thinking on my way in to work today..
Why do so many people have allergies?  When I was a kid I didn't hear about that so much.  Is something changing to make things worse, and I didn't even use to have allergies myself, but now I'm sure I have a few.  Why is that?


Another thing...got a bunch more Android's to add to my collection.  I'll take a picture and post it later.

Love you all..
"I love me, too"  (for anyone who doesn't get that..ask about it if you want..everyone else..hope it makes you smile).

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