Friday, April 6, 2012

Mixed feelings today. . .

I woke up to a call from my Dad today.  Sad news followed.  On the other hand, I'm sad to see the suffering end.  I'm also glad to be spending this time this weekend with family.  My grandpa was a private man, and my memories of him will for the most part not be mentioned in this blog.  I will never love another person on earth the way I loved him.  I will forever be saddened by the loss of him, but I know he's with gma and that their reunion was probably one for the record books.  I've had moments today of intense sadness and then moments of talking myself out of the sadness.  When someone close dies, it changes the dynamics of your life.  I have a feeling I will never get used to the feeling or hole in the heart that it leaves behind.

On a positive note, out of the blue, Jenn changed her mind about coming here this weekend, so she's on her way...and Anna and Taylor and Tommy will be here tonight and. . . . Lucy's birthday party is tomorrow..So Roy and Sarah and Lucy and Sarah's family, and hopefully Dad and Mom...Zach is home and we've spent a nice day together so far, and Gary's been there to hug a few times.  It'll all be okay, as everything always is..

So many memories...I will share one of the greatest things I've ever been told by any person on this vast earth..."I always wanted a daughter...then I had your Mom and Lisa, and they fought too much...they weren't as easy as the boys...but then I got you..."  My grandpa loved me a lot and I felt it all the time.  My eyes are filling with tears again and I can't help it.

To my father - I know sometimes we don't see eye to eye on some things.  I know that I've not been the easiest child or adult to live with.  I do love you very much, and I'll hug you whenever you have time.


Jimmy Dean said...

Sorry to hear the news, Jess. Growing up your grandparents were like a second set of grandparents to me, and always treated us as such. I'll always have great memories of both of them. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.

Jessica Shoop said...

Thanks JD..Memorial is a Morey Chapel Saturday @ 4..