Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Falling on your face. . .

I learn every day.  Experiences are so wonderful.  I know at the time that it's happening bad things do not FEEL wonderful, but they all make you the perfect "you" that you are.  I have done so many stupid things in my life, but something great has developed from almost every one of those stupid things.  It is interesting to see other people making the same mistakes I once made, and I want to tell them, "oh don't do that, I have been there and I failed miserably", but if I were to tell them any of that, I would be disturbing the natural balance of learning from it, and those people might not be as wonderful later because of the experience they missed. (sorry about the horrible run-on sentence, but I had to get it all out at once)
So, I know that Gary and I go through the same thing.  He's quite a bit older and has had much more everyday life experience than I have.  I know that there are times he wants to help me out of a pickle, but I don't want to listen.  Partly because I'm stubborn, but also because I kind of like to make my mistakes and learn and grow from them.  I'm not saying that I don't ever want his help, but lately, I think I'm realizing how often he just shuts up and lets me deal with it.
My kids are all old enough to go through a lot of the same situations that I once went through, and boy some of those are fun.  Some of those times can be pretty scary, and its so hard as a parent to know that I can't jump in and help all the time.  Not only would they push my advice away, but they also need to fall and FAIL.  My mom got so hurt when I told her to let me live, and didn't take advice on things, and I get that. I will hopefully not ever feel that same way.  Hopefully, I have learned that while some of what they do will be dangerous to their hearts and sometimes to their bodies, they will experience and go through stuff without me. Also, I hope they always see me as a cool mom who won't freak out if they do something crazy, but rather talk to them about it as an adult.
Yeah, that's right Jami - I remember all of our crazy adventures.  You and I had a ton of fun, and did a quite a bit of learning together.  We surely fell on our faces, but we also learned what good friendship is all about and how we don't have to hang together all the time to love each other.  There were also the not so good moments, like when it came to driving in snow and having no money or food.  I could mention all of the "firsts" that happened while I was with you, but I don't want to give that much.  The truth is, I love our friendship, Jami - You and I can be away from each other for months, get together and we leave off right where we once were.
BTW..I love all of my friends, but no one was as crazy with me as Jami - so if I didn't mention you, don't have hurt feelings.  I love you all.  EVERY single one of you.

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