Wednesday, November 2, 2011

An Amazing Memory

Isn't it cool how some things that happened in your life stick to you like it happened yesterday?  Well, if you don't have those kinds of memories, I'm sure that you haven't yet experienced a tragic or extremely wonderful event.

For me, 12 years ago today, was both a tragic and a wonderful event.

I had been in the hospital last week, 12 years ago, for the whole week, with pre-eclampsia.  After much complaining, the doctor sent me home on Halloween day to see my older two children go trick-or-treating.  I didn't get to take them, of course, but I got to go home and be with them.  The only symptom that I hadn't had at that point was protein in my urine, so I wasn't in immediate danger on October 31 (which that year, was a Sunday).  I went home and laid on my left side to keep my BP from causing a stroke, with the instructions that on Nov. 2, I was to go in to see my OB at 10:30.  David had just turned 8, and Jenn was 5.  Jennifer was in Half day - afternoon kindergarten that year.  Tuesday morning, I knew something was wrong.  I had trouble going to the bathroom, and I told Brian that I was sure they were going to keep me, but he insisted that we take Jennifer with us to my 10:30 appt.
Without all the gory details, we were sent to St. Vincent's emergency room.

I remember that day so clearly.  Everything happened quite quickly, and at 5:54pm, I had a wonderful 2lb, 10oz baby boy.  He was 15inches long and had very wide bright eyes, and he looked like an old wise man with all his wrinkles.  They wrapped him up and took him away from me.  I remember many things from that evening.  Bart Petersen became the mayor of Indy, Brian was a jerk and wouldn't go check on our son when I asked him, and my mother didn't want to leave my side.  I felt so alone and miserable.  He spent his first two days in the NICU, but his Mommy spent her's in an ICU room.  Finally, when I was out of danger, I got to meet him.  (not hold him, but meet him)

Christmas Eve, I got to bring my then 4lb 3oz, boy home from the hospital.  It was a long, agonizing few months, but he's wonderful and mostly healthy.  I am so blessed.  I've loved a lot in my life, but there is no other love like that of my children.

Before David and Jennifer, I didn't even want children.  I met them when they were 5 and 2.  I immediately loved them, and my love grew and grew.  I worried when I had Zach that there wouldn't be love for him left in me, but it was the most amazing thing.  The love I have for them is alike but different, all three of them have a different kind of perfect, individual, unconditional love.

Zacheriah is 12 today.  Happy Birthday, my sweet, wonderful young man.

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