starting with a poem/thought I had recently:
A cool little thought..
So today is a day that will NEVER happen again
This moment - - we will NEVER have again
whether it be love or sadness or happiness or whatever
The level you have right now the exact measurement will change and you will never get it back
The sunshine you feel in this moment
is now gone..
the sunshine is the same but the moment is gone
My sadness will be filled with joy and then a sadness again at some point.
The way the wind just felt ruffling my hair
so calm and crisp...
I will never have that exact moment again
I remember a day when I was holding my son years ago
I thought..remember this moment, remember his smell, remember his face
I do...but I can never live that moment again, and I will never feel like I felt right then either.
When I started writing this, I was full of sadness and an overwhelming sense of worthlessness
Now it is replaced with a knowing and an understanding
Some people talk about how the tough things pass or "this too shall pass"
but really we move on..we change.. we grow.. we live
Tomorrow when I read this, I will not be filled with the same feeling as today
I might think this was a good writing
and I might wonder what inspired it
but I will not feel the exact feelings that led me to write it.
-Jessica Shoop - January 2013
Isn't it interesting how your favorite colors change? Maybe yours hasn't but as for me, it is almost a weekly thing. I will say that mostly it's the same class of colors basically, red, orange, yellow. I dunno..sometimes it's blue. Anyway, when I met Gary. His was orange. I didn't care much for orange. Now his is blue mostly or the primaries..and mine is yellow mostly with maybe orange. Anyway, Jennifer is very similar to this. I wonder if other people are.
Why do I continue to watch Storage Wars even after gary goes to bed sometimes? I don't want to watch it, but yet I do. So weird.
This coming week, will probably change my life drastically. Not sure how I feel about it at all yet. Excited, but also unsure.
Why is it that one day people call you a friend, and then the next they have stabbed you in the back? I will tell you all, I'm not like this. Most of you that read this, probably know that about me, but anyway, I don't like being hurt by people, so if you are one of those kinds of people, just leave me outta it completely.
(Also though, I don't know many people that I don't call a friend)
Love is easy, relationships are hard.
So today mom dropped a shelf on her leg and was rubbing it at the Black Box, and I kinda giggled. She was talking about how we're klutzy and I was like, "I know all too well." Right before I stood up right into a shelf with my head and shoulder..which really hurt. My eyebrow feels bruised. Crazy.