This wonderful world we live in. . .

Do you ever have days where you're peeing in the toilet, and you have a sudden wave, of thought like "oh I shouldn't be peeing here."?  Kind of like you feel for a moment that you're dreaming.  Okay, if not, that's okay, I am totally comfortable with my craziness.  I have moments like that, and sometimes I find myself in a fog a lot.  I think it has to do with Blood Pressure medicine, but I do notice that when I go lay in a tanning bed for 10 minutes my day seems so much happier and less foggy.  I am also getting a handle on these two classes at once thing.  I think it might not be that bad.  The Entrepreneur class has to have first posts by Friday night and then Accounting is by Sunday night...the weeks are staggered so i think that is helping.

Willy Wonka Junior - - - Anyone who wants to know. . .
Zach is Grandpa Joe Friday April 20th at 7 and Saturday April 21st at 6.  Both at the high school, and if you want tickets pre-sale are $5 and they will be $7 at the door.  I am looking forward to this; it'll be awesome.

So Gary switched back to his Nexus One for a while, but after having memory issues upgraded to a Samsung Galaxy S II yesterday.  It's a cute baby version of my Note.  I am super excited about Ice Cream Sandwich.

A Few more Random thoughts from today:

Why is it that some beings lay eggs, and some have live births?  Why can't everything be consistent?

Why do some woman have problems with men opening the door for them, but they're perfectly fine with another woman opening the same door for them?

How do I get myself a Google Self driving car?  http://9to5google.com/2012/03/28/google-self-driving-car-user-00000001-video/#more-23278

I'm thinking that sweater vests are never cool....

Times of uncertainty. . .

I'm really not sure how many people do what I do..so I'll share, because I don't mind being crazy...and if one other person reads this and thinks, 'yeah, I do that, too' then it's worth it.
I've been accused in my life of thinking too much about all of the different scenarios that could play out.  My neo often used to say to me, "well yeah and aliens could take over the world tomorrow, too."  He doesn't say this very often to me now, because I just stopped telling him the stuff that goes through my head as much. It doesn't mean that I stopped thinking of every possible scenario, but that I just talk about it a lot less.
Today, I'm having one of those days though, where my mind keeps wandering to things that have past, and things that could be, and things that are NOT important.  Strange how sometimes that happens.  Maybe because it's a quiet day, and we went on a 4 mile beautiful walk.  Nothing is too stressful, and I finished accounting mostly for the week.  I've been thinking about what I want a lot lately.  What do I want for the future?  Who am I?  I feel like just when I have it all figured out, something out of whack happens and it throws me for a loop.  In the last 10 years or so, I have grown as a person so much.  There are things about me that I really do like, but this dwelling obsessing thing is hard for me to deal with at times.  I also seem to take on so much when I'm already feeling overwhelmed, like somehow more stuff is going to fix it all.  Quite honestly, I'm not sure how to change it, or if I want to.  So walking through the park today, I see the sign that says Coed softball signups..and MAN I miss playing softball...so I say out loud, "maybe I'll sign up for softball."  Gary's immediate reply is "yeah, " with a small laugh, "cuz you have nothing else going on, so just take up a hobby or something"...He's right, and I know he's right, but why do I feel so compelled to do yet something else that I don't have time for.  I need to work out more I think.  I was using it for a long time as a form of meditation, and now walking 3-4 days a week is NOT good enough..
Thursday night this week, I am going to take the Zumba class at the gym during Zach's acting practice.  I also need to force myself to take a Yoga class again.  I have got to do something that will rest my fragile mind.  I have been a basket case lately, and I know why...and some of you people also know why, but I can't continue like this.  It's crazy too, cuz I think about things that I said to people "how did he take that?" or "wonder if so and so is upset with me now?" and "why doesn't she want to visit me?"  ... Usually, I do NOT spend time worrying about how people think of me, but during the last few weeks..it seems like I'm keeping myself awake thinking of dumb stuff.
Someone told me recently that if you stop thinking you're dead..Well..I'm ready to have some time away from thinking without dying...so I when I figure it out..I'll let you know.

Going to watch Hunger Games tonight..Exciting stuff.

My take on marriage. . .

People think my comments on marriage are somehow wrong.  Maybe.  I feel like there are reasons that marriage may be necessary for some people, but I think people just do it sometimes, because they think it's the next step in every relationship.  Just because it's always been done like that doesn't mean that it needs to be the only way we do it.  I just think marriage will never be in the cards for me again.  

Why?

First go here:   http://www.divorcerate.org/

I like my relationship the way it is.  I like coming home to him every night, but knowing that I don't have to feel trapped there.  I also like feeling like he's not trapped either and if he wanted to, he could leave me.  This kind of keeps me from feeling like we're just comfortable being together.  I love him very much, and I would marry him if we had to get married for insurance.  Some will argue that I'm living in sin.  Well I already committed the cardinal sin - I'm divorced..also..my relationship with my God is sound.  So stop judging.  A piece of paper filled out for the government didn't always constitute marriage. 

We often introduce each  other as "husband" or "wife"..way easier to do, but neither of us really wants that, and we're both good with things.  I'm blessed that he doesn't want to be married either.  I could see how in a relationship if you loved someone and they wanted to be married, it would be hard to say "no" to that.  One of the reasons that I think Gary is my "neo" is because we really are copacetic here. 

I've been married.  He's been married.  What we have, is better than that.  It's just too bad that other people don't think of it differently. 

Nothing important. . .

So lately has been crazy busy for me.  I keep thinking about blogging, but I get sidetracked with work, school, kid, play, everything is compounding at once. . .

Anyway, I am in this hugely time consuming Accounting class, and got my book for a doubled up Entrepreneurship class that I am taking starting Monday.  The Willy Wonka thing is taking up a lot of time that I hadn't quite expected, but I keep saying, it's gonna be over in a few weeks.  I realize that things happen and sometimes when you're overwhelmed stuff just keeps piling, but this week has been tough for me.  Some people will understand this next paragraph and some won't, but I think you'll get it.

I have loved you forever.  My forever that is...No matter how much I try, I can't feel prepared for your departure.  I will not shed a tear in front of you; I will be strong, as you have been for me for some many years.    I do feel like there is a flaw in the design at times.  I know it's not right to feel that way, but I can't help it.  So many times people say that "time heals all wounds", but sometimes I can refresh the hurt just like something happened yesterday.  Sometimes pain is really just that raw that it doesn't ever go away, just hides..

okay - more happy thoughts..Accounting only has 9 more weeks.  That is a happy thought..and Entrepreneurship is only a 5 week course..That's a happy thought too..

Have you ever met someone that is just upset all the time?  Why are people like that?  I think it must hurt..and I feel sorry for them...I really enjoy laughing and having a great time, and I think my life would be horrible without it, so this one person that I feel this way about, I am going to make it my mission to make her smile every time she's around me.  I'm not gonna go outta my way to see her or anything though, don't get me wrong.

I'm gonna close this with - please love each other..Make someone's day today, you might be the only person that does.

Grow up, people. . .

I recently read something that made me think...why do people complain about others on Facebook or anywhere else, when they won't call a person out directly.  I think it's a coward move, and also it's just plain immature.  If you have issues with someone or something, why wouldn't you be direct and assertive and try to fix the problem instead of bitching about it.  I guess I have a major problem with people being negative all the time about everything.  I have always been open with feelings and my opinions as most of you know.  I have always been open to a fault and a few of you know this implicitly.  I sure hope all of my children grow up knowing that you will never get what you want unless you ask for it, and unless you're honest about you're feelings with those around you, you will suffer.
I realize in life that there are social games that people play.  I know that in business there are games that get played.  I'm even quite good at those games, but I hope that people from a social aspect always have a pretty good feeling of where they stand with me.  Things are easier for me than a lot of people though, because I truly do like the people I work with and I also like most of the people I'd call friends. I struggle more with family than friends, but they know that. (Dad/Mom/Roy - talking about extended.  Donna - not referring to you either.  Talking about being unfriended on FB by my aunt)
Why can't people just not be malicious/back stabbing and negative?  Wouldn't life be better for everyone if everyone just tried to get along, or better yet, thought about how they'd like to be treated in situations?  I'm confused as to why this is so hard for people.
This isn't going into a religious discussion, but rather a LOVE one.  Why can't we just all love each other?  Really LOVE. I'm not a hippie, but I do believe that the only thing we need to make the world a better place is a heart filled with love.  Stop bitching and bickering about every damn thing and start to think about how others feel, and what life is like for them for one minute.
If you think I'm writing this because of you, then you are totally right.  So stop it.

Couple of Reviews . . .

Samsung Galaxy Note:

So I've had it for a month or so, and I LOVE it.  I figured I'd feel this way eventually.  It is everything my Atrix was and more (including size).  The stylus has come in handy a lot for quick notes to myself.  Just this morning in a meeting a book title was referenced and I pulled out the stylus.  Also the quality of voice is MUCH better than the Atrix was; people don't tell me they can't understand me on the phone.  The camera is phenomenal and I love it.  Check out these pictures. It helps that they are beautiful things to take pictures of.


"Partials" by Dan Wells - This is another one of those books, I think is really good.  It's about a future world where people have been mostly eliminated after a war with Partials (created beings - created as war machines).  A virus that was created a weapon wiped out anyone that didn't have an immunity, so most humans, and babies have not been born since that were immune.  A few brave teenagers are trying to save the human race.  Anyway a good book worth reading or listening to in my opinion.

Accounting for Business Class:

Accounting scares me.  Seriously, I spent way too much time this week trying to figure things out, and it's week 1.  I am pretty nervous about it.

Will have a "new" iPad to review soon.

Colts...

I can't tell you the sadness I feel about Dallas Clark and Gary Brackett getting released. I will definitely shed a tear or two more for my former Colts... Urrgghh I know Irsay did this back when he first got Manning but it sure kills the fans.. I also know why an owner would do this, but it doesn't make it easier.
For those of you that are wondering why Irsay would choose this... He needed to get rid of all of those players that would be a cancer to his new quarterback. If he gets Luck and all the vets are pissed about Peyton, they won't perform anyway.
Okay sad but I'm in the most beautiful place besides Laguna Beach on earth so that helps.
Sorry to my fellow fans.