I remember a moment when I was about 18 when I thought, "why do people even want to have kids, they are so annoying." I remember thinking, "i really enjoy people, but only when they're like 15 and older." Then I met Brian. Honestly, most people that knew me, really knew me, didn't get the relationship at all. How could I love someone like him? Well, Brian was in a few of my classes in college, and we had been partnered on a project. The first time we had to work together, I met his kids. I remember thinking these kids are way cool. Well, I feel deeply in love with those kids so fast. Then after that, most kids weren't annoying to me anymore. Isn't it weird how that sorta thing happens? One day you're on track with this whole PLAN for your life, and then you're derailed and everything changes.
Recently I had a talk with my daughter about this...I do not know how many times in my life, the universe has decided for me that my mind and life was changing. Things happen and we're all still children and growing together, so baby girl, there is nothing wrong with changing your mind about whatever. Life has too many possibilities to feel like there is only one path. Let's list a few of my life changing events..Okay - I didn't want you..until I met you...and then I couldn't imagine my life without you. I got pregnant by accident (married but still) then got excited..and lost it..Tried for another year to get preg again with zach and when I finally changed jobs and started getting happy with life, found out we were having a baby...he was early and then I had to stay home a few years...(in the IT field, could have lost everything..) then put a resume (one) out there and got a job at Wabash..My parents divorced...I divorced...you and david left...people I loved dearly died....Decided to go back to school..started a business..wabash quit me before I was ready..decided to be a forever student..hoping for another job.. It NEVER ends baby cakes...just be happy that there are people that LOVE you through it all. No matter what..
As my kids have grown, and Zach grows...I see so many things in them that make me so proud to call them my kids. I am glad that whatever they have taken from me, they remember the most important of my rules: Love...be only yourself...don't judge others (unless we're joking and playing the judging game)..and don't be evil. I can't say don't be mean, cuz meanness is in the eye of the beholder..and sometimes people are just too sensitive...If you always try to love people through whatever though, you'll be better for it...and for the most part all of my kids do this. Hopefully through the years and as I influence other kids..they all see that I wholeheartedly believe that being yourself and loving others is so important to everyone.
Smile through this day..and look forward to another like it tomorrow..
Love fully...Be who you want to be...not what others think you should be...and YOU shouldn't judge anyone
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